Me, Only Better

Moving to a new spot.

2011-08-13T23:24:00.000-07:00

If you are interested, you can follow me here

I will be at 40/40 - Increasing My Joy

http://4040-increasingmyjoy.blogspot.com/

I will be chronicling my experience of completing a list of 40 things to do to increase my joy, prior to turning 40 next April.

I'm Back (In More Ways Than One!)

2011-04-10T07:30:00.000-07:00

Exactly one month since my last post.
In that month I finished my practicum, applied for a million jobs that I haven't heard about, wrote 6 papers, almost finished all my classes (last week is it!) and virtually fell of the wagon with my eating and exercise.

I have 1 project left (my portfolio), which I present on April 19th, and then I am done. Woot!

I have led a sedentary life in the last year beyond belief, and my body show the results. I ache in places I didn't know I could ache, and I feel out of shape and blah.

I have not weighed myself since February 1, and I was very scared when I got on the scale this morning....but I needed to face the music. And the music was better than I expected. Since my last weigh in, I have gained 2.2 pounds. That is a manageable number.....I was pleased, all things considered.

So moving forward.

Today I start tracking again.

I start walking or doing something physical, everyday, even if it hurts....I committed to Suzy (for some reason I cannot add a hyperlink here....very odd) that I would.

I also see another vegan challenge in my very near future.

I do still have school to accomplish, so it will be more challenging for the next week, but really I no longer have an excuse, so I am moving forward.

And I am not just saying that!

A Quickie...

2011-03-10T17:48:00.000-08:00

I am sick, in pain (shoulder and neck), off the wagon, overwhelmed with school and practicum, dealing with family stuff, applying for jobs, drinking baileys, and basically not coping well with anything.

I have 6 weeks left in school and then I will be back to life as I knew it....actually I don't know what life will look like in 6 weeks, but perhaps you would like to be part of my journey to discover what that will look like.

See you at the end of April when I will have completed my GRADUATE studies!

Yipee!

New Week

2011-02-13T08:38:00.000-08:00

This is a new week, and I am going to try and get back on track.
I didn't weigh myself today, as I don't want to be discouraged about the number.
I already am feeling down on myself - so I am choosing not to go there.
This week I am back to tracking. Back to planning. Back to making it happen.
Will I be perfect? Likely not.
Will I try? Yes I will!
I have about another 6 weeks to go on WW online (that I have paid for already) and I would like to make it a worthwhile 6 weeks. I would like to have lost at least 10 pounds total on this journey.

I am going to eat well, drink my water and DAMMIT I am going to exercise. I want to exercise.

Here's to a new week! Onward and upward!

Hard

2011-02-11T15:11:00.003-08:00

I am having such a hard time staying on the wagon.
Frickety Frack.

2011-02-06T14:42:00.000-08:00

A loss of .6 is better than a kick in the ass.

Which is really what I need!

Any takers?

Time to get moving!

Although I am discouraged, I have decided that I will not give up - no matter how much it seems easier to give up and fill my face with chocolate!

This morning at weigh in, I reminded myself that in my first semester of school this year, I gained 5 pounds. I have lost that 5 pounds, and the whole goal of doing WW was to avoid gaining more weight this semester.

The reality of my life is that I do not have a lot of time in my life currently. To expect to have hours to exercise in a week is unrealistic for me. But I can still aim to get some walks in, but not beat myself up when I don't.

I am a full time post graduate student.

I am working hard to balance life, family, school, and a practicum. I cannot let schoolwork and family slide to make my weight loss goals happen sooner.

I do want to lose weight.

I will continue to track.

I don't want to gain weight.

I will work as hard as I can to make it happen.

Slow and steady will be my mantra. If I expect too much of myself, I will give up when my expectations are not met.

Slow and steady.

Graduation is just around the corner, and then I can give weight loss more effort.

Failing or Flailing?

2011-02-05T07:19:00.000-08:00

I haven't tracked for the last two days. I am theoretically on program, but sneaking in little cheats here and there and here (Edit to say that this has only been over the last two days that I have not been tracking and have been sneaking in cheats, however I am still eating within my points plus....). The scale is not moving despite all my efforts, and I am discouraged by that. The fact that when I am 100% eating well I do not lose makes me want to scream.

I am bummed.

Weigh In

2011-01-30T08:34:00.001-08:00

Up .2
=(
I am not surprised though.
Given my slothlike state and my chocolate cravings.

This week WILL be better.
I need to find my energy.
I plan to look for it at Starbucks today (=

Plan for the week:

Water (for some reason this is hard for me. I am aiming for 6 cups a day.
Exercise - it would be great if I could do something x3
Eating - no chocolate, lots of fruits and veggies and no extra salt

Exhausted

2011-01-27T19:27:00.000-08:00

I am freaking exhausted.
It is out of control.
I wake up tired, and I stay that way all day.
I have no energy.
For anything.
It is all I can do to get what I need to do done.
There is no energy left for anything.
Exercise.
Assigned reading.
Homework.
Nothing.

Weigh In #3

2011-01-23T08:32:00.000-08:00

I weighed in this morning for a 2 pound loss. That's a total of 5.2 pounds in three weeks! Woot! I am happy with that!

This was an easy week for me for food, as I struggled to eat enough some days, which I think can sometimes not be as good for weight-loss. But I will take the loss, and hope that it doesn't disappear as I begin to eat more "normally" this week. Which hopefully I will.

I did not get my exercise in, as I was weak and shaky all week.

I did not drink enough water.

One thing I am noticing is that I am not thinking about food as much as I was in the beginning of this three week journey. Food has started to not be the focus of every thought. Maybe that's just just because I was sick, so food was not on the radar so much.

This week my goals are

Keep eating healthy and tracking
Drink more water
Exercise 3 times

I feel very motivated. I am on the road, and I am really excited about it!

Weird Week

2011-01-21T05:41:00.000-08:00

This has been a weird week for me.
I have been sick.
In an odd way where I am sick, but not really. I feel fluish. Achy, headachy, tired....
I took Tuesday off of school and slept all day (which is not like me).
Actually I am not sure if I am sick or if it is a reaction to acupuncture. The needle nazi got me good on Monday.
So I have been struggling to eat my daily points, and I haven't been drinking enough water, and I certainly haven't gotten an ounce of exercise, except on my work days where I have ran up and down the halls of the hospital! Does that count?
I don't know what this will mean for weigh-in. Knowing me, nothing good!
My body likes to hang on to it's fat!

Weigh In #2

2011-01-16T09:15:00.000-08:00

This week was not a stellar week for me.
I ate ok, but not perfectly.
I was stressed.
I was busy!
I was hormonal.
I was HUNGRY!
I only exercised once :(

Even so, I am pleased to report a 1 pound loss this week!

Hey, it's not huge, but I'll take it and move forward planning for a better week to come.

Upcoming goals for the week:

Water - I have increased my water intake, but not significantly enough. I am aiming for 6 cups of water a day this week. (Baby steps...)
Walk on treadmill x3 (this is challenging for me, as my schedule is BUSY, but I am planning to make this work....)

Moving forward. Make it a great week!

New Day

2011-01-14T08:13:00.000-08:00

It's a new day, and therefore a chance to make better choices.
Today I am choosing a healthy, filling breakfast of oats (since I don't have to eat on the run).
(DONE!)
I am going to get some homework done, and then run some errands before picking up my girl from school (therefore reducing stress). (DONE!)
This afternoon, I am choosing to walk on my treadmill for 30 minutes, because once this week is better than not at all. (DONE + 10 minutes of sit-ups and squats!)
I am also going to go to costco and refill my fridge with fruits and veggies so that there are many good choices in there.

A new day.
I can't have a re-do for the last two, but I can choose to do better today!

Hard Week

2011-01-13T14:47:00.000-08:00

Ok, I will admit it.

This week has been hard, eating healthy and exercise-wise.

I have:

gone back to my practicum
gone back to school
become insanely busy again

To top it off:

I had my monthly meeting that I chair that I had to organize and go to
It was my daughters 9th birthday yesterday (cake to make & eat!!!!, presents to buy!)
I am all pms-y (which makes me all hungry and sugar cravy for some reason)

I have:

tracked all my eating (including cake and chocolate!!!)
stayed within my points while eating a few (18!!!!) of my "extra" points

I have not:

exercised once this week.

I guess some weeks are like this.....

Weigh-In #1

2011-01-09T07:49:00.000-08:00

Weighed in this morning for a loss of 2.2 pounds this week. I am very happy with that, as my mid-week weigh in did not show a loss! So woot-woot!

I have enjoyed my week, and haven't found it too hard to make healthy choices. Even the times when it was more difficult (eating out, pizza party at school) I was still able to make better choices and stick within my points with a few extra from my weekly points.

I still don't know if it is better to eat the extra points or not, so I tried not to, but it was nice to know they were there if I needed them.

And also, as I read other blogs, I realise my exercise level is so low compared to many people; however, I am trying to only compare to myself, so if I can continue doing what I did last week throughout the next 16 weeks of school and stress, I will be very happy with myself.

Today I need to get organized for the week, which is even more challenging as we are celebrating my daughters birthday next week!

My week - so far!

2011-01-07T14:20:00.000-08:00

Although it is past the halfway point, with Sunday being my weigh in, my block week class is over, so it feels like a good chance to reflect. I have been in class from 8-4 all week.

The Good

I have walked 4 out of the last 6 days earning myself 9 activity points.
I have eaten really well all week - so far I have only gone into my extra points by 3 points. I will probably use a few extra tonite as today was a celebratory day in class, with a pizza potluck and I had two small pieces of veggie pizza. But there was lots of other junk there, and I didn't pig out.
I am finding it easy to choose healthy over non healthy.

The Not-So-Good

I did a mid week weigh in, and I hadn't lost any weight, unlike so many people who post these amazing mid-week goals. This just reminds me of how stubborn my body is at holding onto weight, and why so often I have given up on my weight loss goals, as I am discouraged by my lack of progress. Hopefully I will see a loss on Sunday. Either way I am committed to continuing. At the very least I won't gain any more weight.
I have felt a general upset, disturbed tummy feeling all week, perhaps from the increased fibre. This feeling makes me feel a off....

Goals

My goals for tonite and tomorrow are more of the same. Getting another walk in. Preparing for the week ahead.

DayTwo - Check

2011-01-03T17:32:00.001-08:00

Day two of WW is just about done.
How am I feeling? Hungry!
I have eaten all of my points but three, and I do feel hungry still...
As a vegetarian, I feel like I am eating a lot of food that doesn't count (vegetables) but that the food that does count is using up my points quickly.
I definitely feel as if I am eating WAY healthier than normal (It helps that I am not stuffing Christmas fudge in my face!).

My eats today:

Breakfast

egg and toast
latte w/skim milk

Lunch

Quinoa Salad with tons of veggies
1/2 c chick peas
small orange
kiwi

Snack

1/2 banana with 1 tsp peanut butter (I needed a snack before my walk!)

Dinner

1 c homemade lentil soup
roasted veggies
4 potato wedges (1/2 potato)
small slice french bread with 1/2 tsp of butter (I felt like I needed something carby.....probably should have made a better choice!

And that is 26 points of food.....

For those who are more familiar with WW:

Do you eat your activity points?
Do you tap into your extra weekly points (so as to not feel deprived!)?

A Beginning

2011-01-02T09:00:00.000-08:00

Today is a new beginning.
The first day of the rest of my year.
A chance to get my act together.
To show that I can be in control.
To show that I can work, go to school and not get fatter than I already am!
Today I joined Weight Watchers Online.
I can't wait to get this things started!
Here I go!

Contemplative

2010-12-31T07:26:00.000-08:00

New Year's is always a time for contemplation for me.
What was the year previous? What will the year to come hold?
2010 was not a great year. There was lots of loss and grief and sadness.
I am glad to say goodbye to the year that was, and welcome in a new year.
2011 will be a year for many achievements, goals and dreams realised. It will be a year of balance, growth and renewal.
I am ready for 2011 - to make it all that it can be (and more!)

Are you?

Happy New Year!

Almost Done

2010-12-29T17:40:00.000-08:00

My break is almost done. Four days left. Not that I am counting. OK, I am counting.

I have not done as well as I would have liked in the last three weeks (minus 4 days) but I have realised that I am not all that great at keeping my commitments to myself. I am great when I commit to others, but not so to myself. Interesting.

I have walked 6 times since being off (4 this week alone), but I was busy getting ready for Christmas. Really busy.

I feel like this is my week to get back on track, so I am. I walked twice today. And we had a lovely walk on Boxing Day and the day after. My goal getting back to school is to figure out how I can manage my crazy schedule and exercise. I intend to do it though.

I haven't signed up for WW as planned, but I intend to do that, too. I just decided that to do it over the holidays would be somewhat defeating. I have been watching my eats, but having the odd treat, and I didn't want to be shackled to a program. The 31st will be when I sign up. A new year, a new program.

I was thinking about what 2011 will bring, and I have decided that this is my year. This is the year I will graduate with my masters, I will get a fantastic job, I will look after me by exercising and eating healthy and I will work towards becoming the best me that I can be.

2011 will be my year!

Happy (Almost) New Year!

Two Months

2010-12-12T07:25:00.000-08:00

It's been two months since I have posted.
It has been a crazy two months!
I am half way through my masters - I cannot believe how busy/stressful/intense it has been.
Now it is Christmas break, and I have three weeks off.

I need to focus on my family, get ready for Christmas, relax and rejuvenate, have fun, rest up for next semester, and get myself back on track as far as my health and fitness.

I am thinking of joining WW (online - no time for meetings) just to be accountable. The reality is, I know what to do, I am just not doing it! The treadmill has been cleaned off, and I plan to walk everyday. Yesterday I did 10 minutes. It's all I had time for - and I figured it was better than nothing. Today I will do at least 20 and increase from there.

Does anyone know anything about the new WW?

It is a crazy time of year to try and reign in the habits, but I have these three weeks to get myself focused and together. I want to start next semester feeling like I will be in control for the next four months, and looking after myself.

I may not lose weight over Christmas, but hopefully my healthy habits will outweigh (!) the bad ones, and I won't gain weight!

I am doing Spunkysuzi's no sugar challenge one day this week - not sure what day yet.....maybe Wednesday!

Wish my luck! I truly feel like I am ready for this!

Fail

2010-10-11T07:22:00.000-07:00

This past week was somewhat of a fail - I started out good and ended with Girl Guide Cookies! LOL!

I am not calling it a complete fail, because I was at least more conscious of my eating. (Which is something - right?) I did not get one iota of exercise, however I spent my week in utter exhaustion and at least I gave into that and slept when needed. I think I was in bed at 9:30 every night.

This week I have two big papers to write, but I do plan on getting in two walks. That is my goal for the week (lame, eh?).

My plan for the week is more conscious eating, with no processed junk food, more water, and two walks.

Here's to a good week! Happy Thanksgiving Canadian Turkeys!

Control & Balance

2010-10-04T05:09:00.000-07:00

And my lack of it.
I need to get it back.
Mostly around my eating! And my lack of exercise.
Yesterday I did a 5K walk for the cure. I am ashamed to say that since going back to school this is the first exercise that I have done. I feel like a sloth! It felt so good to move (Imagine that!). And I have decided that I don't want to get to the end of my school year and be ten pounds heavier, so I will challenge myself to do better and expect better.

Goal: Lose 10 pounds in 10 weeks, or die trying!

I can at least try! What do I have to lose?

Break

2010-09-16T16:18:00.000-07:00

Taking an indefinite blogging break.
There is no time in my life right now.
My school program is kicking my ass.
And not in a good way.

And down she went

2010-09-06T08:56:00.000-07:00

So yesterday I fell. And I fell hard. I slipped on a wet painted yellow curb, and I messed up my back really well. Eek. This was not what I needed to do this weekend. fortunately nothing is broken, just extremely strained. Now I am on major anti-inflammatories, percocet, and trying to get as much done as possible. Read: Not much but lying on the couch icing my back. Sitting and standing hurt, bending is excruciating. I can't believe that I start two weeks of hell tomorrow and I am feeling like this. Sob.

Do you think someone was telling me to slow the hell down?

Countdown

2010-09-03T20:34:00.000-07:00

In just three days, life as I know it is ending, and I start school. This is nothing new, as I have been in school for the past 4 years, and yet it is entirely new, as it is graduate school, and I expect it to be much harder. It is a one year program, and it is full time classes and a practicum 3 days a week.

My first two weeks will be the toughest, as I have class Tuesday to Saturday (full days) and then start my practicum on the following Monday. Also in there I have two volunteer meetings to get organized for. Yikes.

I am trying to get organized - making meals, lunch prep, cleaning the house, washing the beds, etc. There will be NO time for anything but school over the next two weeks.

Yesterday I made : homemade veggie broth, leek and potato soup, meat shepard pies to freeze, buritos for lunches (like Amy's, except I make my own. These are great grab and go lunches for my kids), and chocolate chip cookies. Today I am going to make vegetarian shepards pie to freeze.

My plan is that in organization, I will have time for some walks, some self-care time, and will eliminate the stress that makes me cranky.

Do you have any meals that you prep and freeze ahead of time? How do you stay organized?

Here is where I am.

2010-08-24T09:22:00.000-07:00

I am home from camping, under a mountain of laundry and a pile of tents and tarps, but home. There are wonderful things about home - like flushing toilets and hot showers.

Summer has flown by, and I have not nearly done everything that I had wanted - but it has been a good summer.

My kids start school next week, and I start the week after. This year is my last year of school - I am doing my Master of Social Work Degree. It will be my most intense year to date. My anxiety levels are high, higher than I can ever remember them being. I am trying to push the panic monster down, but it is creeping up! I am compensating by writing lists and trying to get done everything I can, so that I am not carrying too much stuff into September.

I have not done any exercise, and I know that this would mentally help me cope. Where is my motivation?

I am still eating vegetarian. And actually I am loving it! I made lentil loaf last night, and damn it was good (Lentil loaf good? Who would have thunk!). I had thought that I would miss certain things camping (hot dogs over the fire), but I didn't. I weighed myself this morning, kind of expecting a gain (due to the indulgences while away - a few ice creams, some chips, a handful of licorice babies), but I was surprised to see a loss of 1.5 pounds since my last weigh in. I wonder if that is due to the lack of meat in my diet - not sure, but I will take it!

Thanks for sticking with me while I was away - I expected there to be no one left here! I am back, and I am going to try and make this the healthiest September that I can - trying to keep life and work and school in balance.

Where I am at.

2010-07-30T11:56:00.000-07:00

I am floundering. And there is no one reason why. A multiplicity of many minor reasons that add up to me living a life that feels so off.

I am not going to list the things that are causing me to lie awake at night with a welling in my chest and a pounding in my ears. The posts where I talk about struggles non-weight related seem to be bypassed more than the others. I know that this is not an outlet for me to seek comfort and support that is not food/hunger/weight related.

Suffice it to say, I am not doing well. I need to walk. I need to take some time for myself. I need to re-invent some joy in my life. But that is not happening and I am at a loss to how I can make it happen.

So I am taking a break. Not that anyone really cares. I will be reading, but not posting. I may comment, but I may not. And hopefully when I return I will have more joy and less anxiety, more peace and less stress and clarity of mind that will get me through the upcoming school year ahead.

Peace.

Just when you thought it was bad....

2010-07-28T07:47:00.000-07:00

I have been feeling quite blah.

It is a combination of things going on at home, missing my family (mother, sister, etc) and wishing I still lived in Vancouver, where I have good support = friends & family and being here where I have a few friends, but they arefew and far between, and sometimes I feel just so alone.

Anyways, I am down. I am angry and bitchy and moody and sad and quite blah.

And just when I thought, man, it could get much worse (how I am feeling, not my life situation) I freaking found HEAD LICE on my son.

Fuck.

Why?

2010-07-25T09:05:00.000-07:00

Why is it so hard to get back on track after a holiday?

Why do I want to lie on the couch and read books all day?

Why do I want to eat ice cream everyday?

Why does it seem like the potato chips are calling my name?

Why?

Why?

Why?

Home at last!

2010-07-21T18:40:00.001-07:00

Our holiday was fabulous. This highlight was this:

We loved our stay in Cannon Beach, OR. 3 days was definitely not enough, I am going to start saving for a week there next year. The ocean is so healing and so magnificent. I love it. We stayed in an awesome inn, called Schooners Cove, and we had a fantastic view of the ocean. Loved it!

After 13 days away from home, it is good to get back and get life back on track.

I ate lots of goodies, and plan to detox for a week in a day or two, but for right now I am just trying to get organized and cleaned up. I am exhausted from 4 huge road trips in 13 days - I figured I spent about 48 hours driving during this trip - too much!

I am happy to say that my scale didn't show too much of an increase when I weighed myself - only a 1 pound gain. Not bad! And I ate vegetarian the entire time. Woot! I even passed up fresh caught spring salmon (that may be my only vegetarian regret...).

For those of you that stuck with me while I was holidaying - thank you! It is good to be home and I plan to visit you all in the next day or two.

Holidays

2010-07-09T11:48:00.000-07:00

My three amigos and I are in Vancouver, BC for 11 days! We are heading to Seattle and then to Cannon Beach, OR for 5 of those days!

I am on track, still eating vegitarian and trying to avoid all things sugar - 100% success not guaranteed this holiday season, but I hope to at least maintain my 7 pound weight loss from the vegan challenge.

I know that I haven't updated since ending my challenge, life has been busy and stressful.

2010-07-06T15:27:00.000-07:00

Marriage is hard sometimes.

That is all I have to say right now.

I am still on the wagon, but hanging on by my fingernails.

Day 14 - Woot

2010-06-30T19:33:00.000-07:00

Day 14 - I made it two weeks! Yahoo for me.

OOOOOOOOOAAAAAATTTTTTTS.
I tried something different, stepped outside my box, and it was ewwwwwww.
Because I am missing toast with pb & j, I thought I would have banana oats with pb & j. This was not enjoyable for me. The peanut butter overpowered everything and made it all icky. There are lots of people who enjoy nut butter on their oats, but I am not one of them.

I had a side of most delicious cherries with my oats.

For lunch I had a salad with a leftover bean burger crumbled on top. The bean burger was very dry, so I scooped some salsa onto the salad. Yum. Later in the afternoon I had a nectarine. So perfectly good. I love summertime fruit.

For dinner, I had a fajita on a wrap (I know, I know) with refried beans, guacamole, stir-fried peppers, carrots, celery, homemade salsa and lettuce. This was good. I was not missing the cheese or sour cream.

Tomorrow I will pop in with a weigh-in, thoughts and plan going forward.

Second to Last Day (=

2010-06-29T20:43:00.000-07:00

Food:

B - Oats, Granola, Blueberries

L/S/D- Organic Corn Tortillas with refried beans and homemade mango/avocado salsa (OMG so GOOD!), peas, leftover potatoes from dinner the other night & cherries. We were at the pool all afternoon, and so it was snacky food and too hot for dinner. I also drank a DP (diet pepsi) which was so good, and so not clean healthy food.

Feeling: I am feeling GREAT! I feel so much less hungry than normal (pre-challenge). I am not sure if it's the lack of sugar foods, more fibre, no gluten, but I have so much less hunger than before. I will weigh in tomorrow.

Tomorrow is my last challenge day. I cannot believe I have almost gone two weeks without sugar, meat, dairy and bread (besides my two cheeeeeeats). Woot!

Yesterday - Day 12

2010-06-29T09:21:00.000-07:00

I did the usual:

Breakfast:Oatmeal

Lunch: Salad and Watermelon

Dinner was another gluten cheat. Hubby and I had a chance to go out for dinner, so we took it. Eating vegan and gluten free is very difficult in a restaurant. There are NO choices. I ended up having a bruschetta appetizer that was basically bruschetta and bread. I asked for it with no cheese, as the original appie came with melted cheese on it. I realised afterwards I should have asked for not butter on my bread (DUH!) although I did say I was vegan. I didn't think this was going to satisfy me, but it did once I allowed my brain to realise I wasn't hungry.

I am ready to start adding a few more things back into my diet (low fat milk and bread). Two days! Two days! Two days!

Woot!

Cheater, Cheater, Whole Wheat Bun Eater

2010-06-27T19:47:00.000-07:00

11 days in....

Bananas are back in the house. It is amazing to me how much more substance you get when you add the banana into the oat mix. Yum. This was almost too much to eat!

Insert mid morning watermelon snack! So yummy and refreshing.

Lunch was hummus and Food Should Taste Good Chips with a Pepper, Tomato, Avocado Salad. Eaten in the sun on the patio.

For dinner I made homemade black bean burgers. These were by far the best homemade veggie burgers to date that I have made. Yum. I decided early in the day that I was going to have a bun with my burger, rather half a bun. I used the bottom and made open face. (I also had mayo, but don't tell the vegan police.....). I served this with foil-roasted potatoes and salad. This was a beautiful meal, and I have to say that the bun made it especially good. (sorry).

There is no picture of dinner because I gobbled it down, it was so damn good.

I had a slice of watermelon after the dishes were done.

Call it what it was, it was a cheat, but I am okay with that.

What the heck day is this - ten?

2010-06-26T18:45:00.001-07:00

Boring, boring, boring...

Breakfast:
Raspberries
Oats - No Bananas in The House - made with oat milk, water, with a splash of maple syrup for sweetness. I missed the banana :(

Lunch:

Mango

Edamame Beans
Carrot Sticks

Dinner

Stir Fry Veg, Brown Rice, the last tablespoon of chick peas

I ate this while everyone else ate fire roasted wieners and potato chips and dip. I must admit I dipped a couple chips into non-vegan dip. My resistance was low - today was tough.

I am not sad to say 4 days left!

Day 9

2010-06-25T19:59:00.000-07:00

No pictures of eats today.

I can't be bothered - besides there is nothing new to share.

B - Oats

L - Big Salad

S - Small handful of nuts (and not those addictive cluster kind)

D - Rice & Chickpeas & Watermelon (Yum!)

Perhaps there might be a bowl of popcorn in my future - I feel hangry.

Walking

2010-06-25T10:03:00.000-07:00

This week I challenged myself to walk 4 times, Monday to Sunday.

This morning I walked for my 3rd time.

I have two days left and one walk to get in - do you think I can do it?

I do!

Day 8 - Same Old, Same Old

2010-06-24T20:49:00.000-07:00

Breakfast:

Lunch:

(Insert Addictive Nut Clusters that I should not have eaten.)

Pre-Dinner Snack (I ate about twice this)

Dinner:

Thoughts:

I feel like my eats are very boring - blah, blah
I find making two meals vegan and non-vegan very time consuming which is why I am eating things that I can re-heat. If my entire family was vegan I think I would be more creative.

Yesterday - Day 7

2010-06-24T07:49:00.000-07:00

Yesterdays Eats:

Soupy Oats with chopped apple and homemade granola

Lunch was on the go. I had to go shopping with my oldest for a bathing suit, so I planned my meal to-go. Lunch was rice crackers and peas and carrots, and a Jugo Juice at the mall. I was stuffed after the smoothie, but really this didn't stick with me and left me munchy all afternoon.

During my munchies I had a handful of nuts x2. I was really craving nuts today. I am sure I snacked on something else, but for the life of me, I can't remember what....

Dinner was leftover stir fried veg and brown rice.

With some organic corn chips and these delicious dips: refried beans, homemade guacamole, and salsa. Yummy!

Then we went and watched this girls last soccer game of the season - yahoo for soccer! She loves it.

When I came home I munched on a beautiful mango. I am trying to eat my way through all my fruit as I want to buy more berries for my oats, but feel I need to eat what's in the house first.

A LOSS!

2010-06-23T07:36:00.001-07:00

So when I started this 2 Week Vegan Challenge (No Sugar, No Gluten) one week ago, I was unsure if I would stick to it. I am a not-stick-to-it kind of girl. But (knock on wood) so far, so good. I have managed to eat whole healthy foods and I feel really great. My energy level is good, I am not have (too many) cravings.

Prior to starting this challenge I had been experiencing a few of the most stressful weeks I had experienced in a long time. I was eating like crap and I felt it. Consequently the scale was up up up from my previous loss, and I was starting HIGH.

When I weighed myself mid-week I was surprised, but skeptical, because I am not a big loss type of girl. I was pleasantly surprised this morning upon weighing in to see that I maintained that loss, plus lost a little more.

This morning the scale showed a 5 pound loss! Woot! Now, I know that likely that is not 5 pounds of fat, but whatever, I will take it and be happy with it.

5 pounds!

Yee-haw!

Hungry, Hungry, Hungry

2010-06-22T19:04:00.000-07:00

Today I was HUNGRY like a freakin' bear. Today was the first day that I thought perhaps I would not make the 2 week challenge, perhaps it would be too challenging for me.

Breakfast was the usual. Oats, oats, oats. This was followed up by a 40 minute walk with a friend.

Hungry when I came home, I had some fruit - papaya and mango - and a serving of curried chick peas & rice, with a side of leftover beans.

Then this afternoon I was not just hungry, but famished. I ate a small handful of nuts and an apple, and I snacked on some homemade granola while I was making it, mostly the over-browned bits.

Dinner was a stir-fry of veggies, the last of the brown rice, and a few slices of potatoes that fried up and dipped in ketchup. This looks like a lot of food, but isn't really as it is a side plate, not a dinner plate.

I am full now. But who knows if that will last! I feel like I ate tons today, but I looking at it, it doesn't look like I totally overdid it.

Thoughts:

Almost at the 1 week mark, I have to say that I am missing certain things in my diet, and I am glad that I have decided to do a 2 week challenge and not a forever challenge. What I am missing the most is bread. I miss the odd piece of toast and maybe a tortilla for a wrap.

After this challenge, I don't think I will stay vegan, but I will continue on with being vegetarian for a while and see how it goes - I have no desire to eat meat, and I am not a huge meat lover, except for the odd piece of salmon. I will continue to limit dairy and eggs, but not completely eliminate it from my diet, and I will add in some bread. I will continue to keep sugar out of my diet for as long as possible.

Tomorrow I will weigh in and see if the scale likes the challenge I am on!

Beans, Beans the Magical Fruit, The More You Eat....

2010-06-21T20:24:00.000-07:00

I walked with my girl this morning for her school's swimming lessons, and I did not have time for oats before I left. One thing I notice about this vegan/sugar&gluten free challenge is that I am at a loss for grab and go foods. Toast with pb would normally be my go-to food, but things are not normal here (= Knowing I wouldn't be home until 10:30, I packed some berries (not shown) and this beauty to eat as a pre-breakfast breakfast!

I came home and had this bowl of oatmeal. I am wavering between a whole banana and half a banana in my oats, and I am really loving the bowls that I make with the whole one. It seems so indulgent, yet it is so yummy and seems to stick for a long time.

My challenge this week is to get more protein, in the form of legumes, which I have kind of been avoiding due to the havoc that they wreak on my intestinal system. Lunch was curried chick peas with brown rice. So good, and so filling.

And then I got unusually hungry, which seemed odd, because I had two filling meals. I indulged with some perfectly ripe pineapple and papaya.

Dinner didn't happen until after 8:30 when soccer was done, and by that time I was starving. I could have eaten my own arm, but that would have been wrong for a sort-of vegan! Instead I had a beautiful salad: spinach, avocado, olives, black beans, cucumbers, yellow peppers, peas and mango. With a side of Food Should Taste Good and a scoop of hummus.

Now I am stuffed like a pig.

I feel like this was a good day: I walked, I ate beans, and I drank lots of water.

Winner!

2010-06-21T12:14:00.000-07:00

I won a super cool prize! It is a heart rate monitor! Woo-hoo!

From the fabulous Amy at Rebuilding Amy who is doing a 100 days of exercise challenge - now that is inspiring! Do you read her? If you don't, you should! I love her blog and am so glad that she is back blogging! Thank you, Amy!

I am so excited! What a great way to start my week! I also started it with a long walk to and from my daughters school to the swimming pool for their last day of lessons.

I can't even tell you how good I am feeling right now - I am really feeling awesome with the way I am eating. I have no doubt that I will easily make my 2 week challenge!

Hungry For Bread

2010-06-20T18:15:00.000-07:00

Day 4

The day started with a bowl of banana oats, berries and granola. Every time I get on a oatmeal kick I wonder why I got off, it is just so darn good and so darn filling.

Lunch was the last of the stir-fry veg and brown rice.

I was hungry this afternoon, which I can link to being tired as I didn't sleep well. I was craving a Starbucks Latte. I snacked on a bowl of fruit (berries, nectarine). Later after a trip to Planet Organic I had a few Organic Que Pasa Tortilla Chips with some of this. I have to say I did not love the mango salsa.

Dinner was streak and the sides for my husbands Father's Day Meal - I had mine minus the steak. The only thing I missed from this plate was a hunk of whole grain bread. I am missing bread more than anything else I think. Bread and lattes.

This weeks goals:

Walk x4
Eat some legumes
Drink lots of water
Keep doing what I am doing....

I weighed myself this morning for a mid-week check in, and I was pleasantly surprised by the results. If it sticks, I will post tomorrow. Let me say I am a little skeptical.

I am hoping for good sleeps tonite.

Day 3 - Much Improved!

2010-06-19T18:50:00.000-07:00

Today was a great day. I woke up feeling much better. And I started the day off with a beautiful bowl of berries before heading off to a massage.

When I came home, I made myself banana oats - topped with blueberries and granola. Yum!

For lunch I had a small bowl of brown rice with stir fried veg. This was last nights dinner.

Dinner tonight was a bowl of salad - spinach, peppers, cucumbers, tomatoes, pecans and organic dried craisins. Yum. Accompanied by a side of Food Should Taste Good crackers. I was going to have hummus, but decided to give my digestive system a break.

Feeling:

Good! Although my tummy is responding to all the high fibre foods (TMI - I know!)
Not hungry! Which is kind of suprising to me....
Not craving sugar! Which is tremendously suprising. I have cut out sugar before and experienced a lot of cravings. Perhaps it is because I am still eating lots of fruit, perhaps the no dairy/no gluten/no sugar combo.....

Eating Vegan Day 2

2010-06-18T19:59:00.000-07:00

My eats were much yummier today, and I took pictures! Yay!

Oatmeal with 1/3 c oats, 1/3 c almond milk, 1/3 c water and 1 whole banana. So good. Topped with a sprinkle of homemade granola and 1/2 c beautiful berries. This was quite good and stuck with me for a long time.

At lunch time I pulled my juicer out of the deep dark recesses of the basement and made a carrot and apple juice with 2 carrots and 1 apple. It wasn't bad, but I don't love carrot juice.

About half an hour later I followed up the juice with a big smoothie. Made with blueberries, strawberries, and banana and a small spoonful of soy-gurt (blech!). This was much better than yesterdays smoothie, but still I am missing my Olympic Organic Yogurt.

For dinner I picked at some roasted parsnips, beets and yams that I made. Yummy. I made some rice and a veggie stir fry, but I wasn't feeling the food, so I just decided to skip it and listen to my body, even though I know I haven't really eaten enough today.

I have felt unwell all day. I don't know if it is removing sugar & gluten from my diet or if it is a bug of some sort (my oldest is feeling icky too), but my stomach is knotted and I feel headachey and fluey.

In good news, I am not feeling at all hungry and I am having no cravings for sugar. Maybe tomorrow? I am still having a teaspoon of honey in my tea, so maybe that it enough to keep sugar cravings at bay (this from the girl who was scarfing jelly beans 3 days ago).

Tomorrow my plans are to feel better and get a little more inclusive with my food - I need some carbs and protein!

PS - What I am missing most is yogurt. I wonder if you can be a almost vegan if you have plain yogurt in your smoothies?

PPS - Did you know that honey is a no-no in a vegan diet? It is quite a controversy!

This is what death must feel like...

2010-06-18T06:29:00.000-07:00

I am definitely detoxing off sugar.

Headache, body aches, stomach aches.

PLEASE

Let me make it through today....

2010-06-17T13:28:00.000-07:00

Breakfast = Fail (SO GROSS!)

Earl Grey Tea with Milk Splash (cheat)

Smoothie with

1/2 frozen strawberries
1/2 c frozen blueberries
banana
almond milk
Hemp-Force Chocolate Protein powder

This was hands down the most disgusting thing I have ever choked back. I don't know if it was the almond milk or the protein powder, but I was definitely missing my yogurt addition.

Lunch = Rushed Snacks in Several Installments due to Crazy-Busy Life Today

Sabra Red Pepper Hummus with Rice Chips
1/2 c Pineapple
Vegan Nut Bar thing I had in the cupboard

Afternoon Snack = 2 Lundberg Brown Rice Cakes with Peanut Butter and Homemade Raspberry Jam

Feeling: Kind of Barfy, headachy and yuck.
Lacking: Veggies & Fruit - I so badly need groceries!

This afternoon I snacked on a yummy mango and boosted myself with tea (no milk) and lots of water. I felt better after the mango. The nauseated feeling has passed - unless I think of that smoothie - yucko!

Dinner = Sushi! Yummy! Yam rolls and avocado rolls. This was probably not the best choice, but heh - it was vegan, filling and so goooooood! I should have taken pictures, but I always forget until I am posting!

This may be a boring few weeks of posts, but I really want to track what I eat and how I feel. I am doing the Two Week (Almost) Vegan Challenge!

Considering Vegan???

2010-06-16T07:56:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking of going vegetarian for some time now. I eat a fairly vegetarian diet, and would like to give doing it a real try. My fear is depending too much on dairy, which I think is less than good for me (cheese, ice cream, cheese, ice cream).

So I have been thinking of doing a two week almost vegan challenge. By almost vegan I would like to have the odd organic egg here and there. But I would like to move away from non-organic dairy. Just to try it out....

So here is my plan:

2 Weeks
Beginning tomorrow
Almost Vegan Challenge
Also cutting out sugar and most gluten

I think that 2 weeks of this could be the kick start I need to get myself feeling better.

Part of my 2 week plan will be to blog my eats, so that I have a record of what I am eating.

2 weeks! June 17 to July 1 (Canada Day!)

I am announcing it here, and y'all need to hold me accountable. Now I need to go figure out what the heck I am going to eat for two weeks!

Back on Track (Again)

2010-06-13T09:16:00.000-07:00

Today I am back on track.

I wonder how many times I can keep saying that? Sometimes I feel like such a fool (a fat fool!).

Onward and upward (but preferably downward in the scale department).

It has been a rough couple of weeks, but I am moving forward.

Alive, No Kicking.

2010-06-09T06:27:00.000-07:00

A quick update:

My kitty is doing well adjusting to life on three legs. She is now out of her crate and cruising the house
I GRADUATED this week - I recieved my degree (with distinction!) - not bad for an old girl
In every picture I look like a fat cow :(
I am trying hard to eat well, it has been hard this past two weeks, I am not going to lie. And my exercise has been non-existent.
My mom is in town (for my grad), and we are going to walk everyday (it is my goal for the next four days).
I haven't weighed myself since this whole fiasco with Caliope. I hope I am not up when I do finally step on the scale.

Good Thoughts Please?

2010-05-31T20:51:00.000-07:00

I know this isn't a cat blog, but my 8 month old kitty is having her hind leg amputated tomorrow. After multiple trips to the vet, it has been discovered that she has dislocated and broken her leg. There is no chance of saving it, which is entirely sad.

If you wouldn't mind sending good thoughts to me and my little Caliope, I would muchly appreciate it. It has been a hard week, and I am sure that the recovery from this will not be easy.

Once we are over this hurdle, it will be back to regularly scheduled programming. Until then I must say I am in a funk, funk, funk.

Crazy!

2010-05-28T08:35:00.000-07:00

Life has been crazy.

I have not exercised once this week.

I am super-stressed, and even more tired.

To add to the fun of having an injured pet, I also have a majillion other things going on in the next two weeks.

My son's birthday is this weekend - including a sleepover tonight
I have two (TWO!) cakes to make
I am hosting a graduation BBQ next weekend for some of my classmates (and me!). I have major housework/yardwork to do to prepare for this
My mom is flying in next weekend to attend my graduation
There are multiple school event happening next week that I will need to be there for

Needless to say, I am wondering how it all will get done!

I have been neglecting the veggies/fruit this week, so this morning, into the blender went 3/4 c frozen strawberries, 1/2 c frozen blueberries, 1/2 banana, 1/3 c plain yogurt, 2 c spinach and a splash of juice. This was a great way to start my busy day today, and I know that I have already included several servings of fruits and veg into my meal plan. I have only recently started adding spinach to my smoothies, and I have to say I don't even taste it, but I do enjoy that I am getting veggies for breakfast.

How do you get veggies in when days are busy and stressful?

A Little Bump in my Life

2010-05-26T16:32:00.000-07:00

Who wouldn't love this face?

On Monday morning I found my kitty, Caliope, outside under a tree with a very injured leg. We do not know what happened, but one of her hind leg joints was dislocated. She went to the vet, and she had minor surgery to place the joint back and splint the leg. She may or may not need another more serious surgery.

She came home Monday night, and has been in a lot of pain. She cannot walk and has to be crated in order to keep her as immobile as possible. I have been sleeping beside her crate, comforting her, and basically being her 24 hour nurse maid.

Obviously this was not in my game plan. However, you do what you gotta do. Some people may feel this is excessive for a kitty, but she is like one of my children. We have lost 2 cats in the last 2 years - one to old age and one to a car - I refuse to lose another one, as I am quite sure that would put me over the edge.

I have not exercised (or slept much), but I am trying to stay on track with my eats, although I have been baking, which is my de-stresser, which means that there are more treats in the house.

I am so blessed to have been gifted with two awards recently, but I am such a non-computer user that I do not know what to do to get them to my blog - do I just copy and paste? Do I sound super dumb for asking?

Question? How do you deal with stressful situations when exercise is not an option?

A Victory (of Sorts!)

2010-05-23T10:51:00.000-07:00

This weekend is a 4 day weekend for my kids, and hubby is working. Yesterday started out gloomy, and the kids and I decided to go to a movie at our local "cheap" theatre. The matinees there are $3 per person for movies that are just recently out of the first run theatres.

Dilemma 1: I love popcorn from the movie theatre (yum and so bad for you).

Dilemma 2: I think it is okay for my kids to have treats at the theatre, and therefore there are treats beside me - YIKES!

I knew that eating movie theatre food would not fit in with my healthy eating. So planning was my goal. I planned a big lunch, I had a quesidilla with a whole wheat tortilla, mozza cheese, yellow peppers, leftover grilled chicken and black beans, served with salsa and low fat sour cream. So good. I also treated myself to a non-fat latte, which is quite filling.

I brought a big bag of peas into the theatre, as well as water (which I always do anyways - I am not a pop drinker), and my latte.

While at the theatre I wasn't completely good - I had a couple of small handfuls of daughter's popcorn, and about 10 junior mints. Although I had told myself I wouldn't indulge in anything, the temptation proved to be too much for me. I still consider this a victory though, as normally daughter and I would share a LARGE popcorn and a LARGE candy.

After the movie we went to the park and went for a long walk (to burn off some of the movie theatre calories), and we played a game while we were there and I got my heart rate up!

Overall I would consider the outing a HUGE success!

A loss!

2010-05-21T07:49:00.000-07:00

After a mid week weigh-in that looked unpromising (up a pound), my official weigh in today had me at - 1 pound from last Friday's weigh in. So yay! Although a pound doesn't seem like much, I will not be discouraged about that, and I will focus on how I am feeling.

Yesterday was not a great day. I really slacked on the water, but my eating was ok. No exercise. Dinner was a rush, and I picked up fish and chips for hubby. I had homemade tomato soup and some mashed avocado with 10 Food Should Taste Good Multigrain Chips. A much better choice than greasy fish & chips (although I cannot lie, I did have a couple of fries and a bite of fish!).

This weekend my kids are off for four days, so I am not sure how that will go as far as exercise. I think I will plan a couple of long walks over the weekend, they won't be great fitness-y walks, as my kids tend to saunter rather than power walk, but at least it will be some activity!

I am really thinking of the calorie counting thing - I am worried about it taking more time (on the computer). How do you feel? Is counting calories the way to go? Do you count online or on paper? What program do you use?

Edited to add: I had a smoothie for breakfast, and I have to say that it didn't stick with me at all! Two hours later and I am starving!

One week in....

2010-05-19T11:52:00.000-07:00

One week in, and I thought I would assess how I am doing.

In the past week I have

Walked 4 times
Drank 8+ glasses of water everyday
Made much healthier choices 90% of the time

I am feeling much better, both mentally & physically, this week. I have found that my energy level is higher - I am accomplishing things (gardening, cleaning my room, etc) that have been on my to-do list for a long time that I haven't had the energy for.

I am afraid to weigh-in, I likely won't until Friday. I think I should have an official weigh in day. My fear comes from the fact that anytime I decide to eat healthy and get more active, I GAIN weight. Lovely!

Although I have been making good, healthy food choices, I haven't been counting calories, and I think that is something that I should be doing. Now that I have been eating better for a week, I need to make sure I am not eating TOO much.

Last night my husband and I went out for dinner to celebrate our anniversary. We went to an upscale restaurant - I had salmon, roasted beets and sauteed brocolini with a slice of the yummiest, chewiest, freshest bread ever. So good. Because we were celebrating, we, I mean I, thought we should have dessert. I envisioned us sharing a dessert. Instead my darling husband ordered a chocolate dessert platter, which included chocolate brule, mouse, ice cream and flourless cake. Oh My Word. So good. I had a taste (or three) of each, and fortunately the portions were very small, for example the brule serving was about 1/4 of a cup. But talk about ruining my good choices....

Oh, and although I know I haven't lost any weight, I wore a dress that I bought myself last week, and I felt really good when I went out last night. I know that feeling came from my healthy choices this week!

Weekends Are a Challenge!

2010-05-17T08:10:00.000-07:00

Weekends are tougher for me than regular days. Why is that? More food shared with family, instead of just a big salad for myself? Less time to focus on me, and more of me focusing on everyone else around me? Maybe it is just a mindset, and it is more challenging because I allowed it to be more challenging!

I think I did ok, though - drank lots of water, ate mostly pretty good, didn't exercise, but I did garden for 6 hours, which has caused my leg muscles to be so incredibly sore and tight. There is some serious stretching looming in my future today!

This morning I was going to skip the walk (due to sore legs), but then I decided a short 40 minute walk wouldn't kill me, so I did my walk at a little bit of a slower pace, with some stretching stops mixed in. It felt so good to move my body, with the sun shining on me, my ipod playing great music and my senses filled with all the smells of spring.

It's a good thing I decided to walk, as I weighed myself this morning and I am up a pound. How did that happen?

Are weekends more challenging for you?

I did it!

2010-05-14T08:09:00.000-07:00

I rocked my day yesterday!
I ate well, I drank water, I basked in your comments and encouragement! Thank you!
I plan to rock today as well.
I have drank 4 glasses of water, gone for a 30 minute power walk after walking my daughter to school. I am going to dig into another yummy yogurt bowl. The rest of my day will be busy, but at least I started it right.
OH, and I weighed myself. It wasn't pretty. It was a number I have never seen before (except when pregnant), but I think it was a necessary part of being honest with myself. And I am not letting it ruin my day, it is just a number, just a starting place.

This time I mean it...

2010-05-13T10:56:00.000-07:00

I suck.
I really do.
I really, really suck.
Thank you for caring about how I am doing, but I am telling you haven't done well.
Today I tried on my summer capris - guess what? They were too snug.
This doesn't surprise me, because I have done nothing. I don't know what it is - am I just lazy? Oh I have thought about doing something, but there is a book that needs to be read, a bathroom that needs to be cleaned, and a scrapbook page that needs to be created.
Well, enough is enough.
I am committed to eating healthier and moving more.
I am committed to being accountable.

Today:

I am committing to eating healthier. Clean, real food. No gimmicks. Reducing sugar and refined carbs. For breakfast I had a yogurt bowl with pineapple and banana, no-fat plain yogurt and homemade granola. For lunch I am planning a huge salad with mango, avocado and peppers.

I am committing to more water. (8 glass/64 ounces per day) 4 glasses so far today.

I am committing to moving more. I will do something physically 4 times per week. Although I would like to say 7 times, I think it is more realistic to say 4. I walked with a girlfriend for an hour this morning. I also plan to have more unintentional movement - walking my daughter to school instead of drivings, yardwork, etc. I know I need more exercise than this, but I need to start someplace.

I am committing.

You have my word.

Here I Go

2010-05-02T18:57:00.000-07:00

I have had 10 days off since school ended. I rested, relaxed, read, cleaned, travelled, shopped and enjoyed my relative freedom. And I did pretty much no exercise. And let me tell you, the party is over.

Tomorrow is a new week, and this ass is getting in gear.

I am charging up the ipod.

I am washing out my favourite water glass.

And I am pulling out my hand weights.

I may even sign up for a yoga class.

My pants are so tight. And I am so not even prepared to weigh myself.

No more excuses. If it rains - I walk. If it snows - I walk or do weights or do stretches or do something.

I need to be accountable! I need to feel better about myself! I need to fit into my pants!

Tomorrow will be walking, water and clean eating.

I am back on the wagon.

One Week

2010-04-11T07:03:00.000-07:00

One week left.
This time next week I will be talking about what my new routine will be.
Walking, water, healthy food.
It's not going to be about losing weight - although that would be a lovely side effect.
It's going to be about getting back on track.
Back to healthy.
Back to looking after me.
Back to who I was meant to be.
I can't wait!

2 weeks

2010-04-02T09:39:00.000-07:00

2 weeks left until I am done my practicum.

I can hardly wait.

I am so glad March is done. It was a hellish month. Moving on to April!

I gained 5 pounds while doing my practicum.

Then I got the stomach flu. I have been siiiiiiiccccckkkkkk. No barfing. Just nausea. No desire to eat. I lost that 5 pounds.

At least I start my getting back to me - eating right, exercise, self-care - in 2 weeks on an even playing field.

I am excited!

Holy Crap!

2010-03-04T10:40:00.000-08:00

I need some motivation to get my eating and fitness level into control.

Help me.

I am drowning in my own inability to move forward.

I need to make a change today.

Drink more water.

Go for a walk.

Eat more veggies.

Eat no cookies (!!!???!!!)

Start right now!

This week

2010-02-25T05:57:00.000-08:00

This week:

I walked twice (and plan to walk again before the week is over)
I went to a yoga class
I am thinking active
I am drinking more water
I am sleeping better
I feel slightly more human

Good News!

2010-02-20T20:52:00.000-08:00

Last December I applied to enter the Master of Social Work program next fall. This spring I will finish up my four and a half year journey to get my BSW. I didn't think I would get in, although I really wanted it.

I want to continue on with my education for one more year, to achieve this goal. I was worried that if I took a year or two off to work, we would become dependent on my income, and I would never get back.

Was it important to go on and further my education? I don't think it will benefit me financially for a few years, but eventually it will garner me a higher salary and better job opportunities. Mostly though, I want to go on because I set a goal - and I want to reach it.

I found out this week that I got in!!! I was so excited! But there was also something else - Pride. I am so proud of me. When I finished high school in 1990 I didn't feel smart enough to be the type of person to go to university. Now I have achieved a diploma, a degree (almost) and I am onto my masters next year. Not bad for a girl that never felt smart enough.....

Dropping like Flies

2010-02-07T13:28:00.000-08:00

My readers, that is - not my weight.

I am trying to find balance in my life, but chaos is winning and balance is losing.

I have no time for anything.

Sorry.

I wish I did. Mostly for me, as I feel like a bundle of stress that would be greatly helped by some long walks and self care.

How do full-time working mom's balance home and work? Add to that 2 courses and volunteer commitments that are kicking my ass, and it's a wonder I am getting anything done. Feeding my family real food is all I can manage these days, fortunately I will never resort to take out or crap food when it comes to them.

For those of you that are leaving because I am too freaking boring, what can I say, I don't blame you!

Cupcakes - I love cupcakes!

2010-01-24T15:21:00.000-08:00

Go to Love & Olive Oil (which is a great site, btw!) and enter the contest to win cupcake icing tools!

Here's the site! Go there & enter!

No time

2010-01-14T20:01:00.000-08:00

Now that I am full time at practicum I realise that I have no time.
I will be scarce in the next few weeks, however I am eating healthy and loving my practicum placement.
I doubt that anyone will notice that I am not here, but if you care, there you have it.
I am trying to balance work/school/family/home and healthy living. Blog time is seriously limited at this moment.
I will check in when I can!

My Week

2010-01-09T09:10:00.000-08:00

This week wasn't a great week, but it wasn't a bad week either.

I spent much time preparing for next week - lots to do to get ready for full time work/full time learning.

I will have a busy semester - 14 weeks. I figure I can do anything for 14 weeks!

This weeks weigh in 168.4 - a 1 pound loss - I'll take that!

This weeks goals:

walk
water
breathe

Wierdness

2010-01-08T06:35:00.000-08:00

Wednesday I met a girlfriend for lunch.

About an hour after I ate I started to get a wicked stomachache - grabbing pains that were awful. My lower eyelid started to get itchy. An hour later I picked up my girl from school and came home. My eye was starting to feel really wierd, so I looked in the mirror. I looked awful - my left eye was starting to swell up!

Within half an hour, my eye was almost swollen shut and my whole left side of my face was swollen.

Crazy! An allergy to something, I guess. But what I just don't know. It left me feeling wiped out completely. So odd.

2010-01-03T08:25:00.000-08:00

I weighed in yesterday.

For the first time in two weeks, which, to be honest, was the first time in a long time that I weighed myself. I was in a little bit of this place called "I don't want to know".

I was pleasantly (hah!) surprised that when I weighed myself two weeks ago I hadn't surpassed the 170 mark.

And even more pleasantly surprised when I weighed myself yesterday that I hadn't gained any weight from 2 weeks ago. Still the same 169.4 (I still have huge trepidation about posting that number on line.....). I was happy about this - over the holidays, despite my laziness and my eating of some unhealthy foods - I managed to keep it in check.

My goals for the week are to get out and move (walking has been difficult here as it has been -20 or so) but our weather is supposed to warm up, and there can be no more excuses). My goals for the month are to weigh less at the end than the beginning. Ok, I know that's a lame goal, but it is going to be a hard & stressful month for me. I am starting a practicum, which means working 4 days a week - which I have not done for a long time. I am starting a new semester (2 classes). My littlest has her birthday, so there's a party to plan. It will be a month of adjusting. If I can do everything, walk a few times a week, eat healthy and lose a pound or two, I will consider it a good month for me!

Goals :

This week I will walk 30 minutes x 3
Drink more water
Start preparing healthy foods for my fulltime work days

I am excited about a new year, fresh start, new beginning!

2010 Here I come

2009-12-31T07:43:00.000-08:00

2009 was a good year. But I am not sad to see it go. I believe that new years are like fresh slates - not an opportunity to change your life (because that can happen anytime) but an opportunity to reflect and review and see where you can tweak things in order to live your best, fullest life.

2009 brought challenges to our family, challenges that we faced with grace and strength - and ok, sometimes not. 2009 taught me about faith, about believing in something stronger than yourself. In 2009 my kids grew up one whole year - I now have a 16 year old, a 12 year old and an almost 8 year old. Being the mother to a 16 year old has brought many complexities to my life. I hope to survive the teenage years with all body parts intact. Anyone who tells you it gets easier after they turn 4 hasn't had to negotiate with a teenager.

In 2009, I lost a few pounds and gained a few pounds. I am right where I was at the end of 2008. There was a minimal commitment to change at the beginning of the year, but ultimately not much changed. This makes me feel sad. Sad that I can't seem to get my poop in a group to get it done. But being sad doesn't accomplish anything. What I need to do is get fierce. I need to get dedicated. I need to get serious.

2010 is going to be a good year.

I am going to graduate with my Bachelors Degree in Social Work. The end of a five year education journey. This is a huge accomplishment and I am so excited/nervous/joyful!

I am going to spend 4 months prior to graduating doing a practicum that is a culmination of all my learning over the last 5 years. Although it will be stressful, I want to focus on the fact that this is it! This is what I have been waiting for.

I am going to get healthier. I know I am . I am going to start walking regularly, I am going to eat healthier. I am going to get my cholesterol under control. I am going to learn how to look after myself again. (I have no plans for this other than just to start - perhaps a sugar detox after the holidays, perhaps a walking goal, perhaps a weight loss goal. I need to work this out yet. But it will happen.)

I am going to enjoy more time with my kids and less time with the computer/tv.

I am going to be open to the possibilities of life as they come forth - it really will be a good year.

Happy New Year!

Reflections

2009-12-29T07:36:00.000-08:00

I started this blog last January, thinking it would motivate me to accomplish my healthy living goals. And it really hasn't. I spend a lot of time perusing blogs, reading others accomplishments and challenges, but I haven't really changed much within myself. Oh sure, I did good the first few months - with trying to lose weight for Las Vegas and feeling especially motivated at the beginning of the year.

I read my story this morning, and I really can't help but wonder where my motivation has gone. This year has been a slippery slope downhill. Blogging hasn't helped. I am in a worse place now than I was when I began this blog.

I really need to figure out what I am doing, because this isn't working for me. What I need is to be accountable to me - for exercise, for healthy eating, for a healthy lifestyle. I need to find the time to move my body and get some freaking exercise. I am embarassed to say how long it has been since I have even been for a walk.

I am not pleased with where I am at - physically or emotionally. And I don't know how to change it.

Today's Goal: Walk for 30 minutes
Today:

Yahoo for the Holidays!

2009-12-17T21:39:00.000-08:00

The holidays are upon us. I couldn't be happier.

I am excited for all the things that holidays bring: family time, puzzles, games, no packed lunches, no early mornings, no homework, reading for pleasure!

I am pretty much done my Christmas shopping, which is a huge relief.

Today was my kidlets last day at school, so I decided that major relaxing was in order. I read and napped, in that order. I also made spiced nuts and homemade organic coconut-almond-cranberry granola for gifts. Yummers. Mostly though I enjoyed not being at the mall and having my house to myself.

Here is a picture of my new baby, Calliope.

She brings me much joy. I am so in love with her already! Having her is very healing for my heart.

An Update

2009-12-06T08:02:00.000-08:00

Where am I at?
I am still here. It has been a crazy week or two, and to be honest I am not doing much health & fitnesswise.
I have been extremely busy with school, and have really done no prep for the upcoming holidays.
My classes are done this upcoming week, and I finish off with an exam Friday night. Then I have a month off. A month until I have a crazy 16 weeks of practicum chaos. Nothing like working for free 4 days a week!
My plan in this upcoming month is to instill some kind of fitness into my life. Oh, my word! It is what I need more than anything - both physically and mentally. Even going for an hour long walk would do me wonders. However, our temperature is dipping to -30 this week, so I am not sure if I will brave the chilly weather. Yikes! I really need to get someone in to fix my uncooperative treadmill. I really feel I would utilize it, especially this time of year. I should put that on my list of things to do.
My food choices have been mostly good, but not 100%. There has been the odd homemade 1/2 milk, 1/2 light eggnog latte. It has been bad, but oh-so-good.
I need to work on making good, healthy choices in 90% of situations while fitting in some time to exercise. I can do it.

Sick.

2009-11-16T19:50:00.000-08:00

Like really.
I am.
I can't believe it.
I can't afford to be sick.
I have too much to do this week to be sick.
Regular school, an online class session, parent council (i am the chairperson), masters app to send off, group presentation...really I don't have time to be sick.
I am going to will it away while I sleep tonite.
I plan on being better tomorrow.
I have no time or energy for this.

(ps - it's a headcold, not a flu, so I think willing it away is possible)

Crazy Week

2009-11-12T15:45:00.001-08:00

This week has been crazy! I am trying to get my graduate school application in, 2 papers written, and my house cleaned. Today I got the application proposal finished, but the papers are not done, and my house is a mess. My mom arrives tomorrow - and I am very excited, but wish that my house was cleaner!

I have eaten fairly well all week, but my exercise has not manifested into anything.

Also all this healthy eating is making me feel bloated. TMI? Perhaps. Too much fibre? I don't know. I think actually it is related to the oatmeal I am eating in the morning - this morning I had toast instead, and I am feeling much better.

Oh, oats, I love you so. I hope I don't have to give you up.....

Monday, Sushi & Reading Week

2009-11-09T09:29:00.000-08:00

Mondays are always a blessing. It is nice to have an hour or two to myself, but it is sandwiched with having to pack lunches and be organized. This morning I made muffins for the kids for breakfast, pasta salad for lunch and did a gazillion dishes. Yes, it would be a bonus if I were more organized and did some of the prep the day before!

We treated ourselves and had sushi last night. Yummy! I don't know what it is about sushi (salt in the soy sauce perhaps) that makes me gain overnight, but I saw a two pound gain this morning. Now I know it isn't possible to gain two pounds overnight, and I ate pristinely the rest of the day, so I am thinking it is water retention. Whatever. It was yummy! And I enjoyed it (=

I think this speaks to the fact that I need a set weigh-in, and I need to move away from being a daily weigher. I like weighing myself daily. And I don't find it really effects how I do things that much - I don't sabotage if I am down, or do anything all that different if I am up, it just helps to keep me focused.

This week is reading week. Yay! No actual classes, although I do have two different meetings up at the U anyways this week. I am going to be completing my last practicum next semester, so there is lots of work involved!

Happy Monday!

Thoughts

2009-11-08T07:54:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was an interesting day. I spent some time in reflection mode, and I looked back at the posts I did when I started this blog at the beginning of the year. I so was gung-ho to lose the weight. What happened? Where did I lose my motivation? You know there are a million excuses to not get it done, to not reach your goal, but in the end excuses are just that - excuses for not getting it done.

I am feeling good - today, yesterday, the day before. I feel healthier when I feed my body food that is nutritional and good for me. I don't want to be the person that I was last week - binge eating Halloween candy. Yes, eventually the candy would be gone, but there is always something else to binge on.

For the last few months (at least four, maybe five), I have felt unwell. Tired, lethargic, blah, and blue. I think it was the way I was eating - the lack of fruits and veggies, the lack of water, and the overabundance of processed food is not fun for my body. In the last few days I have felt better, more alert, more energetic than I have in a long time.

I hope to hold onto this feeling, this knowledge, that when I eat healthy food I feel like a better person. And if I forget, I hope someone reminds me.

Now I am off in search of some squash - I have a craving for roasted squash and my local grocery store didn't have any yesterday. So I am off to the farmers market to get some squash.

PS - I don't know why, but I have such a hard time time formatting my pictures here, why can't you move them around once they are in your draft???.....

Rockin'

2009-11-06T07:57:00.000-08:00

I have been rockin' the healthy eating for the last couple of days!
No sugar, no candy.
I am filling up on healthy food - fruits, veggies, homemade soup.
I am not counting calories, rather I am focusing on eating whole, healthy foods.
Yay me!

My life is crazy busy, and I am not going to deny that exercise will be a challenge. However, I aim to at least walk once a day - and in the next week I will carve out some time to get to the gym.

I feel I am on the right track.

Enough is enough....

2009-11-04T12:15:00.000-08:00

Enough excuses
Enough Halloween candy
Enough bad choices
Enough feeling bad about those choices
Enough fat days
Enough just one more (cookie, candy or whatever else)
Enough lazyness
Enough fatigue
It is just enough.

Today I choose to do better, be better and want more for myself.

I got up off the computer chair and went for a 40 minute walk.
I will get some form of exercise at least 5 days a week. I will.
I will not eat one more Halloween candy. Not one.
I will drink more water. I am sure I am dehydrated.
I will eat the healthy foods I know are good for me and make me feel good.

Enough is enough.
I am better than the choices I have been making for myself.

Thank you!

2009-10-05T12:40:00.000-07:00

To those of you who inspired me to feel better!
I am taking control.
A 5k walk yesterday tired me out and started my week in the right way. This week I will work on getting myself back on track, if not physically, mentally.
I am making the choice to be better and do better.
Because I can.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.

suck

2009-10-02T07:58:00.000-07:00

My life sucks right now.
It doesn't suck more or less than anyone else's - this I realise.
And yet I cannot seem to rise above it.
I am unable to pull myself from the muddy quagmire of blah that I feel to do anything else but feel this way.
What I need to do is exercise.
But I do not have the energy to force myself to do so.
I feel pathetic and sad and alone.
I wish I could do better, but I don't know how.

2009-08-26T09:16:00.000-07:00

Today is officially our last day of summer.

It was a beautiful summer - full of road trips and outings. Games played, books read and food eaten.

Summer = my favourite time because my kids are home and we can spend lots of time together.

Fall = back to routines. School for them and for me, too. *Sigh* Our summer has been cut drastically short due to the World Skills Competition in Calgary.

Back to routine for me needs to include finding some kind of part time job for the fall to bring in an income, as well as getting my fat self back to the gym. I haven't weighed myself all summer, but I hazard a guess that I am up at least 5 pounds.

Included in this routine I need to find time to write here, as I believe it will help me to be accountable. Healthy eating, exercise & balanced living - that is what I seek this fall as we move from easy summer lazy living.

I scream

2009-07-28T07:42:00.000-07:00

Motivation = No Ice Cream

Yesterday I made it through the day without any ice cream. Hard to believe that is considered an accomplishment, but there you have it.

See how far I have fallen....

Helllllloooooooo....is there anyone there still?

2009-07-26T14:10:00.000-07:00

Where oh where have I been?

I am here.

Eating like crap, and being basically a sloth.

Why you ask?

My, that is a good question, and unfortunately I do not have the answer to it.

I have been down, down, down.

But I wish to be up, up, up.

Only pushing myself to get there isn't working.

I need more exercise and less crap food.

So....

Today I pushed myself out the door for a 45 minute walk - the second one in three days.

Today I will busy myself, instead of sitting (and eating) mindlessly.

I need to find my groove.

Have you seen it?

Phew, only it doesn't get a whole lot better....

2009-06-20T07:46:00.000-07:00

This week was tough. I took a course at the uni which was monday - friday, 9 - 4. Which in theory isn't all that bad, but I also had to come home and keep up with my online classes, including two evenings where I had classes online that I had to attend. Not to mention soccer, meals, laundry, housework (what's that?), etc....

My eating was fairly bad (3 chocolate bars this week - I have NEVER done that before!), and I cannot tell you the last time I exerted any energy towards exercise. I cannot friggin do it all. This week was a real lesson for me in what my life will be like when I am working full time. I am not sure I will enjoy it.

To top it all off, my marriage seems to be taking a real nose dive, and I truly wonder if we will make it through this summer. I spent all last night crying and wondering what I will do. It will mean quitting my program 4 years in and one year (10 months) away from completion. I cannot work and go to school and look after my kids. I just physically and mentally cannot do it.

I am spiralling towards a great depression and I wish I could lift myself up towards the light.

If only I had a fairy godmother

2009-06-14T12:36:00.001-07:00

I am so incredibly stressed.
Incredibly busy.
And incredibly sad.

I just don't know how I am going to survive the rest of this month.

Epicure Goodness

2009-06-05T09:08:00.000-07:00

Do you love winning stuff?
Do you love yummy food?
Then you should enter the contest at Amy's Quest to Skinny for some great Epicure products!

I am still alive

2009-06-04T20:49:00.000-07:00

Thank you to all who have hung in here in my rather long absence!

I am still alive - and trying to find my way back to healthy eating and exercise. This week had been better than most on those counts.

I am extremely busy & stressed with school, but I think I am getting in my groove.

I will be here over the weekend with a longer update and some weekly goals (=

2009-05-07T05:43:00.001-07:00

I go to las vegas in two sleeps.
I am very excited, although I am disappointed that I am just as fat as ever.
If I hadn't gotten sick I am sure I would have done better, but as it is, I am still getting back on track.
This week I have set a goal of walking everyday - and I have kept it.
So I am focusing on the positive - not the negative:

no headaches
my energy level is slowly coming back
going to the gym is in my near future - I feel it!
we will do tons of walking in vegas - of that I am sure!

Sorry that I have been so absent. I know I need to refocus, and when I get home I will be consistent with this blog, as I think it will help to keep me accountable!

Watch out, here I come...

2009-04-26T08:42:00.000-07:00

Two weeks from now I will be in Vegas. (As long as the world isn't ending due to Swine Flu from Mexico!!)

This gives me two weeks to be healthy and strong (and not pigging out daily on chocolate! It has been bad since Easter). I do not want to go on my trip with the mindset of eating everything in sight. So today I am back on track.

limiting my sugar
increasing my veggies & fruits
limiting "white" carbs
increasing my exercise

Speaking of exercise. I have a real anxiety about going back to exercise, and I cannot seem to make myself get back on track. This week I will. I am going to the gym 2-3 times at least. I have to. I want to. I feel so much better when I am working out & eating well.

Watch out world, here I come!

I'm back....

2009-04-19T08:43:00.000-07:00

Hey all!

It has officially been one of the crappiest months on record for me. I am battling the "unwell" feeling, but have decided as of today, I am over it! So done. Not going there.

Today is day one of my new plan!

What's the plan you ask?

Why it's healthy eating and exercise.

I have been afraid of exercise for the last week, because although my headache is gone (yay), it came on while exercising. And I don't want it to come back. But I can't live in fear. However I can start slowly - today is the day I ease my way back in.

Goals for today:

Healthy eating (no sugar - i have not done well on this recently)
Grocery shopping (to buy the healthy foods)
A long walk at some point today (easing back into exercise)
Lots of water
Studying (it is exam time people!!)

I have no doubt that I will not reach my goal to be under 160 before las vegas in three weeks. However, I do want to feel healthy and energized. So that is what my plan is for. Life sometimes gets in the way of your goals by throwing you curve balls (like headaches that you have to be seriously medicated for), and all you can do is get back up and keep moving!!

Happy Sunday!!

Well that was fun...

2009-04-10T10:49:00.001-07:00

NOT!

I have never been so sick in all my life. And it wasn't like a sick sick, like when you have a cold or a flu, it was more like a when will this ever end sick?! It was bad.

And it has ended, thanks to prednisone, which I am still taking. Hopefully when my prescription is done my headache will stay away!

I was unable to do anything for two weeks. No school work, no exercise, nothing! It has been overly depressing, but hopefully it is just over.

In other news, 1 month till we go to Vegas, and I am really no closer to my goal of being under 160. I am so mad that things have gone the way they have. I look forward to building up my energy and getting back on track with my healthy lifestyle, and I hope that in the next month I can lose 6 pounds. However, I don't see myself being able to do anything too over the top in the next little while as I am still shakey and not at my best. Certainly not ready to hit the gym, but maybe some walks are in my future.

The good news is that I lost a few pounds while sick, so if I can maintain that loss, I will be at least headed in the right direction.

Grateful List

My sister and her son will be here in less than an hour for a 5 day visit
The sun is FINALLY shining in Calgary - spring is here!
My headache is gone (fingers crossed)
I have great family & friends who care about me
It's my birthday on Monday!

My absence

2009-04-02T08:17:00.000-07:00

Sorry I have been so absent.
I have been suffering from headaches for the last week or so.
I had such a bad one on Tuesday that I ended up in emerg getting a CT scan and a lumbar puncture. Turns out I am fine, but my head is still throbbing. So there is little exercise, little food, little of anything right now for me.
Hopefully I will round the corner and start to feel better soon.

Argh.

2009-03-25T07:40:00.000-07:00

Thank you for all the comments - it made my day to see that people cared (=
I am so sick of snow! I want spring to be here.
My mom cancelled her trip because she has the stomach flu - that makes this week alternately more difficult and sad, but also means I don't have to go mad cleaning my house.
I went for a walk last night
Today I am going to the gym. Daughter promised to watch little girl. I am excited for a good workout!
My eating has been sad, sad, sad, the last couple of days. I need a kick in the ass. Yesterday I ate two slices of homemade banana bread. I think what I need to do is stop baking! Duh.
Today I am taking kids to a movie and out for lunch after I go to the gym!
Happy Wednesday!